Friday, October 20, 2006
First night at the hospital with Dani, and I am in complete awe of my daughter. I got there around 6pm and her hives on her face were hard to stomach, just as the first time I watched her get sick yesterday, but as time progressed they started to subside. And all of that seemed to phase me more than her. She is such a strong person at such a young age and there has never been anyone more inspirational in my life until now. I am so thankful that she is still eating healthy and full on energy. You can definitely tell that she just wants to be home with her bed, her walker, her toys, and family. She didn't sleep too much last night and the times that she was able to stop crying long enough to fall asleep the nurses came back in to take her vitals and wake her up again. With all of that throughout the night she got up this morning in a cheerful and playful mood and her smiles were all I needed to shake off the sleep deprivation, concerns, and anxieties. I love her so much and I long for the days that we can look back on her struggle with the distance of time and a greater fondness for life and to live it they way that makes us happy. I know this is all so hard on Kelli too, and she is an absolute rock. Frankly I knew my wife was a strong person, as I have seen her swim in the sea of discontent surrounding custody and ex-husband issues that would have made a lesser person crack. But she is absolutely amazing and I now know where Dani gets her persistence and smile in the face of it all. I am so lucky to have the both of them in my life. I sure missed the boys last night too. Its a much different life when we all are not together in our home and having to be with the boys separated from each other is hard too. But right now its necessary to move us all forward. They have been very strong as well and I hope that all of this doesn't make them grow up any faster that they should. I love those two so much. I spent most of the night thinking about the big picture and I can say that there is no place that I would rather be than with my family, even if we have some bumps in the road. When Kelli came in this morning to relieve me to go to work, Dani 's face lit up like a Christmas tree, she loves her mommy. I hope see has a good day today. Love Daddy.